Practical Application of The Psalms - Psalm 1

The Psalms are some of my favorite parts of Scripture.  Being a bit of a poet myself, that makes sense.  They're poetry in the Bible.  I've decided to do a bit of a study on them, nothing real deep, and see what practical application for my life I can glean from them.  I think this blog would be a good place to keep them, and share them with anyone who's interested.  So, here we go.

PSALM 1

Theme:  The way of the righteous vs. the way of the wicked.

Attributes of God in this Psalm:

• He has laws and the blessed man delights in them.
• He has a hand in the way of the righteous.  More than that, He directs the way of the righteous.

Practical Application:

- Meditate on and delight in The Word of God.

- Give it all over to God and His direction.  Yield to God and His plan.

Stop the manipulation.

Give the "control freak" a rest.

Turn it all over to God.

His ways are best.

                                       -Brenda Lenz

For Real

I thought of something today that I would normally take for granted and not really contemplate at all.  I asked someone if there was anything I could do for them today.  I haven't gotten a response yet, but I fully expect it to be a polite one.  I expect to be told that all is fine and they can't really think of anything in particular that they need.  What made me stop and think about it is the fact that I would be disappointed by a polite response.  I truly want to do something to bless this person.

How often is that the case though?  How often are we robbed of the blessing of blessing someone because we are conditioned to be polite?  It's almost a knee-jerk reaction.  I'm guilty of the same thing.  When someone asks me how I am I say something polite without even thinking about it; "I'm good, how are you?", or at the very least, "I'm hangin' in there."  Not only is that often a lie, but it brings the opportunity for meaningful interaction to a screeching halt.  We all want to be needed, and we all want to be perceived as having it all together.  Those two wants can't coexist.  If we are all okay and have it all together, then we don't really need anyone else.  God didn't create us that way.  He created us for fellowship.  “But it is you, a man my equal, My companion and my familiar friend; We who had sweet fellowship together Walked in the house of God in the throng.” -Psalms 55:13-14 NASB. “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.  . . . Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together with gladness and sincerity of heart,” -Acts 2:42, 46 NASB. There are many other passages of Scripture that talk about the importance of fellowship.  One other that comes to mind:  “Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.”  -Proverbs 27:17 NASB  We need each other for so many reasons, not the least of which is the fact that God created us to need each other.  Even scientific studies have shown that those who are in meaningful relationships with other people live longer, healthier lives than those who isolate themselves.

We were created for relationship.  Relationship with each other and relationship with God.  It occurs to me that if you switch a couple of the first four letters of the word relationship around you have "real".  I can't even look at the word without seeing that.  Don't we need to be real in order to have depth in our relationships?  When I'm not real with someone, it makes for a very shallow relationship.  In fact, I would question whether I could even call it a relationship.  Being the nerd that I am I did a bit of a word study on the word "relationship" and this is what I found:
re- = back, again 
-lation > from latus "carried, borne" used as suppletive pp. of ferre "to bear" (irregular verb - fero, ferre, tuli, latus) 
-ship: Old English -sciepe, Anglian -scip "state, condition of being,"
What I see there (with my limited knowledge) is a constant bearing of one another's state of being.  We can't bear one another's state of being if we don't know one another's state of being.  Therefore, there could be no relationship to one another, which would be completely unbiblical and contrary to God's plan for us.  So, I would go so far as to say that by not being "real" with one another, by not being honest about how we really are doing, we are being unbiblical.

What to do about it?  Therein lies the hard part.  Go against the natural instinct to simply be polite, and go with the spiritual desire for fellowship.  I'm going to ask The Spirit to remind me the next time a brother or sister in Christ asks me how I'm doing, to answer honestly.  If I'm feeling challenged that day, I'm going to say so.  If I'm feeling burdened, or sad, or even if I'm rejoicing over something in particular - I'm going to share that.  I'm excited to see what happens.  I know The Spirit will remind me if I ask Him.  It will probably be a little scary, as stepping out of our comfort zone usually is, AND it is usually well worth it.

Praying for deeper, more real relationships in the church to the glory of God and the edification of His people.

Blessings!  :-)

Right Here!

“For throughout all their journeys, the cloud of the LORD was on the tabernacle by day, and there was fire in it by night, in the sight of all the house of Israel.”
Exodus 40:38 NASB


As I meditated on this verse, I wondered what it must have been like for the Israelites to have The Presence of God right there in their midst.  A cloud by day and fire by night.  How impressive must that have been!  I imagine they probably got used to it, but . . . God, RIGHT THERE!  I don't know if I could ever get used to that.  Then I realized, I have.

God is RIGHT HERE, with me.  I am now the Tabernacle.  We Christians are now the Tabernacle.  The Presence of God dwells within us and yet we are normally not in awe.  Maybe it's because we don't have the impressive visuals that the Israelites had, or maybe we've just gotten used to it.  I'm not entirely sure.  I am sure, however, that I myself am a fairly visual person.  I learn by watching and doing.  If I had some kind of visual reminding me every day that the Spirit of God dwells in me, maybe my attitude would be different?  Or, maybe I'd just get used to that too.  We're such adaptable creatures.  I just can't help but think that His Presence had to be amazing to see, actually see with the naked eye!  Would your life ever be the same after that?  COULD it ever be the same?

And the security of knowing that God Almighty, your Heavenly Father, was actually dwelling in your midst!  But wait, He IS dwelling in our midst!  Shouldn't we have the most amazing sense of security knowing that He dwells within us?  WITHIN us, not just outside the city limits where He could be here quickly, but actually with us 24/7!  The God of the universe, The King of Kings, The Alpha and Omega - His Spirit dwells within every believer!  Take a moment and let that sink in.

Mind blowing, isn't it?  I think it's probably too much for us to grasp, really, and that's why we don't live like that is the reality.  Mountaintop experiences are exhilarating and wonderful, and they're also exhausting.  We humans can't maintain that kind of euphoria and I imagine that is what it would be like to live as though we fully grasped the reality of our situation as believers.  A constant, never-ending mountaintop experience.  Heaven?  Makes sense to me.  “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known.” -1 Corinthians 13:12 NASB. We only see glimpses now, and only experience momentary mountain tops, but when we are with Christ in eternity we will get the full experience.  When we are made perfect and able to stand it, we will "know fully".  I for one, can't wait!

Know Christ

July 11, 2015



"The initiative of the saint is not towards self-realization, but towards knowing Jesus Christ."   "The aim of the spiritual saint is "that I may know Him". -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

Our main goal as Christians is to know The Lord Jesus Christ.  How many of us have thought for years that our main objective was the "great commission":  "Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." -(Matthew 28:19 NASB)  But, how can you tell people about someone you don't know?  It makes perfect sense to know Him first, and know Him well.  Know Him so well in fact that we "secure the realization of Jesus Christ in every set of circumstances" [we are in] -Oswald Chambers

It sounds too simple.  How can our main objective be just to know Him?  That sounds like the lazy way.  An excuse to get out of the work.  Being a Christian is about the works, right?  It's about laboring, isn't it? "For it is for this we labor and strive, because we have fixed our hope on the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of believers." -(1 Timothy 4:10 NASB)  Yes, it is about the work and that is NOT the main objective.  Without Jesus we can do nothing.  "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5 ESV)  Without love (Jesus) the works mean nothing.  "And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing." -(1 Corinthians 13:2 ESV)  If we don't take the time to know The One for whom we labor and The One that we need to tell the world about with both our words and our lives, it's all empty.  We won't really know why we're laboring and will burn out fairly quickly, and there will be nothing to tell the world.  You can't adequately share something you know nothing about.  The more you know, the more you have experienced, the better spokesperson you can be.

Foreign ambassadors are U.S. citizens who establish a concentration in the country they will be serving.  They take the time to become experts on the region's history, geography, culture, language, political structures, and its place in the global economy.  Without knowing all that they know, they could not be good ambassadors.  They are experts on both the U.S. and the foreign country they serve.  As ambassadors for Christ we need to be experts also and that takes time, discipline, and dedication.  We need to know all we can possibly know about The One we represent so that we represent Him well.  When we know Him, we know His voice.  When we know His voice, we can follow His leading to the works for which He created us.  "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." -(Ephesians 2:10 ESV)  There is a process and a plan and if we go off half-cocked, get ahead of or fall behind God by not knowing His voice and following His leading, all we do is for naught.  There is no eternal value in anything we do apart from Christ.  So take the time, believe God rather than the world that says, "If you're not busy, busy, busy you're not accomplishing anything." and accomplish something of eternal value - knowing Christ.  Amen!

Power

July 9, 2015



"Are you sufficiently right with God to expect Him to manifest His wonderful life in you?"  "If we really believed that God meant what He said - what should we be like?"
-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

I have often wondered about the lack of power in the church today and in my own life.  Why are we not able to do the things the disciples did when the Bible says we would do even greater things than what Jesus did?!  "Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father." (John 14:12 NASB) Compared to what I read in the New Testament, Christians today are impotent.

Is it that we are not sufficiently right with God or that we don't believe?  I think it may possibly be a combination of the two.  I think we're too much in this world; comfortable, familiar with, even reliant on our circumstances and what we can see with our own two eyes.  We are not sufficiently right with or reliant upon God.  We do things in our own strength, follow our own wisdom, and satisfy ourselves with things of this world.  Miracles make us nervous and any manifestation of the gifts of The Spirit are cause for doubt and confusion.  I think the New Testament believers would doubt our conversion.

So what to do about it?  First off, do we WANT to do anything about it?  We're so comfortable with things the way they are.  I struggle with that question myself.  I like comfort and self-reliance.  I like thinking that I'm in control and the sense of security that provides (albeit, false security).  I can't shake the feeling, however, that I could be doing greater things, and my life and the lives of those around me would be better off for it.  I'm not talking about fame, fortune, or being some kind of super-hero.  I'm talking about making an eternal difference in the lives of others.  I'm talking about fulfilling my God-given purpose and walking in all the power of the Holy Spirit that I was intended to walk in.  "Then he said to me, . . . . 'Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,' says the LORD of hosts." (Zechariah 4:6 NASB)  I want to live by The Spirit, walk in The Spirit, worship in spirit and in truth.  Father, that is my prayer for today.  Take away the impotence and make me and my brothers and sisters-in-Christ strong in You.  Open our eyes to the ways and power of The Holy Spirit, Your Spirit, and let us not be afraid.  Give us knowledge, understanding, wisdom, and discernment.  Let us truly live according to the leading of The Holy Spirit that You have placed within each believer.  Let us exercise; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.  Let us use the gifts of The Spirit that You have given each one of us for the edification of the church and to Your glory.  Let us fervently love one another that we would be unified and the world would see our love.  "I in them and You in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, so that the world may know that You sent Me, and loved them, even as You have loved Me." (John 17:23 NASB)  Raise up Your army, Lord, and strengthen them for these end times.
In the powerful name of Jesus I pray, Amen!

"It is always necessary to make an effort to be noble." -Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

The definition of "noble" is as follows:  having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals.  
It seems that men (and women) of noble character have gone out of style in this country. High moral principles and ideals are seen as narrow-minded, judgmental, and bigoted.

My theory is that Americans have simply become too lazy to put forth the effort that it takes to be a person of high moral principles.  It's so much easier to be undisciplined, unstructured, and uncaring about how our actions affect other people.  Both my parents and my grandparents taught me to be polite and to treat others with respect without compromising my principles.  It was a fine line sometimes.  Agreeing to disagree is not always easy when you add human pride and ego to the mix.  I have long admired the Jews who could argue and disagree, then sit down to a meal together with no animosity.  THAT is true wisdom and maturity, in my opinion.  

The morals of this country have declined drastically in the last fifty years.  When I was growing up you never saw a dead body on the news.  T.V. couples slept in separate beds, and children who disrespected their parents were considered rebels.  Today, the media knows no boundaries.  Watching the news is like watching unscripted reality T.V..  The more dramatic the better.  T.V. couples have sex right before your very eyes and rebellious children are heroes.  There's no more mystery and nothing is sacred.  Nothing is left to our imaginations. It's all out there, bold-faced and brazen.  It takes too much effort to reign in our fleshly lusts so why do it?  "If it feels good, do it" has been taken to a whole new level.  Now it's more like, "If it feels good, do it, and make sure you share it with everyone else whether they like it or not."  It's sad.  It's rude.  It's downright disrespectful.  If I'm supposed to respect your right to "express yourself", why aren't you supposed to respect MY right to not be exposed to your "self-expression".  Sure, I could leave the room or look the other way and more likely than not come face-to-face with someone else's "self-expression".  You see, that's the problem.  

The complete lack of self-restraint is everywhere.  Everyone is coming out of all kinds of closets with complete disregard for those around them.  When I'm in the library, I do my best to be as quiet as possible so as not to disturb those around me who are trying to read or work.  I taught my children to behave the same way.  Then one day a person came into the library with total disregard for the established protocol or "library etiquette" if you will.  This person decided that they wanted to jump around, sing, slide down the banister, and toss books in the air so that's exactly what they did.  A few others thought it looked like fun, so they joined in.  The librarian was shocked and asked the people to stop.  When they refused, citing personal freedom, the librarian called the police.  The police came and quietly escorted the disruptive parties out.  The rest of the library patrons and the librarian were relieved and carried on with their quiet activities undisturbed.  Yes, this was a fictional account (except for the first two lines) to illustrate a point.  Disrespecting and disregarding others only leads to more of the same and soon everyone is being hauled to jail, or there's anarchy . . . and then who knows what.  

There was once a societal etiquette that no longer seems to exist.  Those who were raised to be polite and respectful can either embrace the new "personal freedom" attitude or suffer verbal abuse and persecution for being "narrow minded" and "bigoted".  Why can't we all have the freedom to express ourselves and be who we are a little more carefully, instead of just dumping it on everyone else with total disregard?  Find a group of like-minded people and be yourself with them and a little more subtle around the general public.  We all learn, one way or another, what is socially acceptable and what is not.  Walking around the mall with purple hair is one thing, making out in the food court is another matter entirely.  

Some people are offended at the slightest thing.  I'm not talking about pleasing all the people all the time.  That is simply an impossibility.  I'm talking about crossing lines and bringing out into the open, things that should be private; family matters, romantic intimacy, deep dark secrets.  Some things should be between you and your God and maybe a counselor - no one else.  It doesn't need to be on the news, or paraded around the mall, or made into a television show.  Have some shame, people!  Have a little respect for decency and keep some things sacred.  What is so wrong with that?  It makes life on this fallen planet a little more enjoyable to just be nice and a little polite toward one another.  I'm going to start with myself and attempt to be a little more noble.  I think it will be worth the effort.

Blindly Following a Crutch

We don't follow blindly and Christ is not a crutch.  Not in the derogatory sense, anyway.  Those who don't believe in Jesus often accuse those of us who do believe of being blind followers.  I hear "Christianity is a crutch" all the time.  If only they knew the truth.

What some perceive as blind following comes as a result of wrestling with God over what we want as opposed to what He wants, and learning that what He wants for us is better - oftentimes the hard way.  God will allow us to have our way.  We are not robots.  It only takes a time or two, however, of having our way and falling flat on our faces to realize that maybe Father does know best.  Humans are prideful and stubborn, and Christians are not immune to those human traits just because they try to be.  Even the most obedient among us still ask, "why" and "how".  Then we remember that He always provides a way and that even if we don't see the reason, He always has a good one.  We've learned this from experience.  We've learned this from being honest with ourselves and with God about our imperfections and weaknesses - and wanting to grow and improve.  We've learned this from being stubborn, prideful children of God and failing at accomplishing what we thought we wanted over and over.  Some of us do it over and over more than others, but we all learn differently.  The point is, oftentimes the ones who seem to follow the most blindly are the ones with their eyes widest open.  They've learned the hardest lessons, and they know God the best.  They are the wisest among us.

As for Christ being a crutch . . . well, that coin has two sides.  On the first side, we are sinners in need of a Savior; weak and crippled and in need of a crutch until we're strong enough to walk.  Even then, there will be plenty of times in our lives when we will need to be carried or at the very least, have a crutch.  No one is at the peak of strength for their entire lives.  We all have weak moments.  We all get injured.  It's part of being human.  That's just how it is.  We're born prone to weakness and injury.  There is no better help anywhere than Jesus Christ.  He is the strongest, smartest, and most gentle physician there is.  He is a counselor, comforter, ever-present help in time of trouble.  And He knows all.  There's no one better to help you in a moment of weakness or pain.  The other side of the coin is that being a Christian is hard!  Most people won't tell you that, but it is.  It's messy, painful, and sometimes just downright frustrating.  We get dirty, we get hurt, we even want to walk away sometimes because this is just too darn hard.  Thank God for the first side of the coin!  Jesus knows how hard it is to follow Him sometimes and He sends a Helper in the form of The Holy Spirit.  Being a Christian is a constant battle between our flesh and God's Spirit within us.  God wants to perfect us, and our flesh wants to be totally human and indulge in whatever we want to indulge in whether it's bad for us or not.  Our flesh is a spoiled little brat and God's Spirit within us is the parent wanting us to grow up to be a well-rounded, healthy adult.  The two butt heads, naturally.  The interesting thing is that even when it's hard and frustrating, there can be peace.  There's a peace that comes with the "Christian package" that we can tap into anytime we want.  The Bible calls it "peace that passes all understanding" and it does.  I can't tell you how many times I have been baffled by the inner peace I have had in the midst of turmoil.  It's not what I should be feeling and yet it's there.  It's trippy!

I am a Christian and I am far from perfect.  I do not follow blindly.  I follow with absolute faith because I know that my God is beyond trustworthy and has only my best interest at heart.  I, on the other hand, am more self-destructive than anything and far from trustworthy.  I don't want to follow me.  I'll get totally lost.  Christ is not my crutch unless I ask Him to be and I need to ask Him to be much more than I do because I am crippled without Him.  I breathe in and out every day only because He allows me to.  I have an amazing husband, wonderful gifts and talents that I enjoy and can share with others, and a love for others that can't be explained only because He gave me those things.  He created me.  He wakes me up every morning.  He waits for me to take His hand and follow Him into the grand adventure that He has for me every day.  Some days I take His hand and some days I forget to.  That's okay.  He still loves me and He still waits for me.  Whenever I'm ready to stop following my own foolish ways, I can take His hand again; feel His amazing love for me, and continue on our grand adventure.  And let me tell you, it is a grand adventure.  There's action, adventure, drama, and romance . . . everything we look for in a good movie except it's real life.  It's not always easy and sometimes there's more joy than I can contain.  I've always said that parenting is the greatest pain and the greatest joy we can experience in this life.  Well, I can say the same thing about being a Christian.  What we have to decide is whether or not the joy is worth the pain.  For me, I have decided that it is.  Not to mention the fact that eternity depends on it.  I could not imagine spending eternity apart from my Jesus.  The one who picked me up, brushed me off, and loves me in spite of myself.  He wants to make my life here on earth and my eternity better than it could be without Him.  There is a learning curve, without a doubt, but what thing worth doing doesn't require some sacrifice?  Jesus gave the ultimate sacrifice - His life - for me and for everyone who chooses to accept His sacrifice and make a few of their own for the sake of deep purpose here on earth and eternity in heaven.

Following blindly requires very little of a person.  Following Jesus requires much more than most people think.  It requires faith and fortitude, and more strength than we can muster on our own.  It's a partnership between God and man.  It's fellowship and friendship with a greater purpose.  Christianity is not a crutch, it's a way of life - my life by choice.  No blindness involved.

“I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . .” Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing—our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, “That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.” Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first. - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

I'm reminded of the verse, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." (‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭33‬ NASB)  As practical human beings, this can be a difficult attitude to maintain.  I think men especially, have a hard time not focusing on how they're going to live.  It's their job in life and even more so those men who have families to take care of.  If God's Word is our standard, though, and the guideline by which we live, then we must do our best to fully rely on God.  We must learn to put our relationship with Him first, above all else.  This is how we live life victoriously, above our circumstances.  Like Peter, who walked on the water as long as he kept his focus on Jesus.  As soon as he shifted his focus to his circumstances, he began to sink.  Isn't that how it feels when we focus on the circumstances?  I know that I can easily feel overwhelmed and like I'm drowning when I think of nothing but my circumstances.  Only when I look to God - in worship, in prayer, in His Word - do I begin to feel lighter and lifted up.  This world is only getting scarier.  I can choose to focus on the scariness and become terrified, even frozen with fear, or I can focus on my relationship with Christ and be at peace.  Christ never changes, His economy never falters, and He has a plan for this world and for me.  All of the craziness is under His control and He is going to use it for good.  I can't see how it all fits together, but He can, and He loves me and is trustworthy.  There is so much freedom in keeping my eyes on Christ and being able to walk above the circumstances - keeping my head above the water.

Who Do You Think You Are?

I heard a song this morning entitled "According to God" by Beautiful Eulogy, a group my oldest son listens to. The chorus of the song says, "Who do you think you are?"  Aside from being used in a snide way, it's a very important and legitimate question. Who we think we are has a lot to do with who we actually are. It dictates our thought-life and therefore our behavior.

I spent a good portion of my life with insecurities and extremely low self-esteem. I had no idea who I was, but I was sure that I was of little value.  I treated myself cheaply, so everyone else did too (with the exception of a few family members who truly loved me). Once Christ got hold of me, He began working on changing what I thought of myself.

It was life and attitude-changing when I discovered who I truly am in Christ. Jesus gave me a whole new set of words with which to describe myself. Instead of a convicted sinner, I was forgiven - "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭32‬ NLT). Instead of dead in my sin, I was alive in Christ - "So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to God through Christ Jesus." (Romans‬ ‭6‬:‭11‬ NLT). Instead of a slave to sin, I was Free and belonging to Christ - "And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death." (Romans‬ ‭8‬:‭2‬ NLT). Instead of unrighteous, I was made holy - "I am writing to God’s church in Corinth, to you who have been called by God to be his own holy people. He made you holy by means of Christ Jesus, just as he did for all people everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours." (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬ NLT). Instead of a loser, I was made triumphant - "But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ’s triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume." (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭2‬:‭14‬ NLT). I was no longer the same confused, hurting little girl, but a new person - "This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life
is gone; a new life has begun!" (‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭5‬:‭17‬ NLT)

I realized that I was more valuable than I could have ever thought possible and someone loves me enough to die for me and take upon Himself the wrath, of God that I deserved. I saw myself and my life through new eyes. I felt like a new person and I started acting like a new person. My life changed drastically. Am I perfect?  Not even close!  Am I BEING perfected?  Absolutely!  Is it difficult and painful at times?  Without a doubt, AND it is absolutely worth it!  Who I thought I was before Christ and who I think I am now, IN Christ is like night and day. It's like the difference between being sick and being healthy. It's why people like me want to tell the world about Jesus and what He did for us. Who wouldn't want to tout the benefits of the medicine that made them well?  So, who do I think I am?  Forgiven, healed, righteous, victorious, beloved daughter of THE KING. That's who I am, and I am who I am because of Jesus and the saving work He has done and continues to do in my life.  Who do you think you are?

Thank You, Jesus!

Thank You, Jesus, for fully understanding me in a world where I am so easily misunderstood.

Thank You for loving me unconditionally when this world puts so many conditions on its mere acceptance of me.

Thank You for judging me fairly because You see the intentions of my heart while this world sees only what it wants to see.

Thank You for curing me of my need for approval by reminding me that Yours is the only approval I really need and I've had it all along.

You saved me, You've blessed me more than I could ever deserve, and You've loved me in spite of myself.

You are worthy of so much more than I could ever give you, yet You give me more than I could ever be worthy of.

Thank You, Jesus, for loving me fully in a world where love is so incomplete!

Out of Control or Exactly According to Plan?

My devotion this morning talked all about trusting God when your life seems out of control.  I realized that I get many opportunities to trust God every day because my life very often seems out of control.  Out of my control anyway.  Things are not at all how I pictured them to be at this stage of my life.  I think that's a testament to God's sense of humor.  I had it all figured out in my mind.  By now, I would be just a couple of years away from an empty nest; more travel opportunities with my husband, more time to study and write, a slower and more comfortable pace of life overall.  That's how it was for my grandparents, so that's how I expected it would be for me.  Ha!  God had completely different plans.  

Four years ago this month, my husband and I (then in our late, late 40's) were looking at an empty nest just a short 6-years away.  We were already getting a taste of independence since the boys were older.  We had a freshman in high school, a middle-schooler.....and the opportunity to adopt our then 2-year old granddaughter.  There was no way we could let her go to strangers so I became a MOP again at the age of 49.  Today, at the age of 53, I run a household full of kids.  Our high school freshman is now a college sophomore and lives at home.  Our middle-schooler is now a junior in high school, and I am homeschooling our now 6-year old granddaughter/daughter. Oh!  Did I mention that none of these kids drive?  The empty nest is now more like 12-years away when I will be 65.  That's pretty close to retirement age, right?  I'm not holding my breath on the whole retirement thing.  I've been a front-line mom for over 30-years (I also have a 32-year old daughter, and a 25-year old daughter).  I'm beginning to think it's God's call on my life and I'm wondering if there will be more children to come.  I wouldn't be surprised.  

I love my children with all my heart and they ARE my ministry.  There are times, however, when it all seems way out of control.  The demands on me far exceed my energy level at times (a lot of the time) and my stress level goes through the roof.  I dream of peace and order; a clean kitchen and a living room devoid of cardboard boxes that have been turned into colorfully decorated "houses".  My perfect day would be one in which I would actually get through my entire "to-do" list without interruption or getting sidetracked.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even bother with a "to-do" list anymore.  I rarely get to cross off even one thing!  The experience of already having raised several children tells me that one day I will miss the chaos and clutter of young children and teenagers.  It's this experience that allows me to cherish the crayon drawings and high school text books scattered everywhere at the same time that I'm lamenting their existence.  It's an odd sort of paradox that I live in and some days I cherish the evidence of my lifestyle more than others.  What I think it all comes down to for me is exactly what my devotion was speaking of - trusting God when your life seems out of control.  

it's true that my life is not what I imagined it would be by the time I was slightly past middle-age.  In fact, it's almost completely the opposite.  It's also true that my 50-something, arthritic body often has to perform the tasks of a 30-something (neither easy nor painless).  It is also true that God is trustworthy and He knew exactly where I would be today before I was even born.  "For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."-Jeremiah 29:11  The circumstances of my life cause me to rely heavily on God.  There are countless moments in the day when I look to Him for strength, patience, and joy.  I remind myself that I trust Him and that His Presence is with me.  "But I trust in your unfailing love.  I will rejoice because you have rescued me." - Psalm 13:5  There's a saying that goes like this:  "If God has called you to it, He will see you through it."  He has and He does - every moment of every day.  My children are a blessing and I know that even in the midst of any chaos that occurs.  I also know that I am a very blessed woman to have such children as well as a wonderful and helpful husband.  I may not have all the time I would like to write or pursue other interests, but one day I may, and if not then it wasn't really important for me to do so.  Apparently, what's important for me to do right now is to continue raising up soldiers for the Lord and to serve my husband at home.  I thank God for the privilege of doing so.  I thank Him for the times that strengthen my patience, and I thank Him that I get to lean on Him so heavily and walk so closely with Him.  "And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ". -Ephesians 5:20  I could not do any of what I do without Him.  I choose to trust Him when my life is running smoothly and when it seems completely out of control.  I thank Him for it all because it all has a purpose whether I see it or not.  Trusting Him and being thankful brings peace and I need all the peace I can get!

My devotion this morning said this, "The more you experience Me, the more convinced you become of My goodness.  This knowledge is essential to your faith-walk........spend time enjoying Me and experiencing My goodness." -Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

There have been many times in my life as a Christian when I questioned God.  I doubted His goodness as a result of something terrible happening that made no sense to me.  That's human nature, I think.  One of the biggest questions about God is "How can a good and loving god allow bad things to happen?"  That's a good question in my mind and the bottom-line answer to me is, "I don't know."  I know that sin is ever-present in this world and that man often chooses to do harmful things to one another.  Some bad things that happen are simply a consequence of sin and man's poor choices.  As to "acts of God", they're beyond our comprehension (most of the time).  I think sometimes, God in his mercy and graciousness, gives us a bit of insight as to why something happened.  Most of the time, however, it has been my experience that I am simply to trust that I don't understand everything, but God does.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."-Isaiah 55:8-9  It dawned on me that there's no way we could understand all the why's and wherefore's of what God does and doesn't allow to happen.  Our pride, however, demands that we have the right to know.  What silly humans we are!  Does a child have the right to understand everything that its parent does?  Is a child even capable of understanding everything its parent understands?  Of course not!  Some things that the parent understands may even be traumatic for a young child to be exposed to.  I believe such is the case with us and God.  He is the parent and we are the children.  We often tell our children, "You'll understand when you're older."  Is that not true?  How many things that your parents said or did, were you not able to understand until you became a parent yourself, or at least an adult?  Think about a teenager who thinks he/she knows everything.  Don't they come across as arrogant?  I think so, and I've raised several teenagers, believe me I have some experience here.  I believe that we Christians (children of God) are much like teenagers.  We either think we know it all, or we think that we have the right to know it all.  We will not completely understand God until we are grown up in Him, perfected.  For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. -Philippians 1:6  We are BEING perfected, but we're not there until the day that we are with Christ.  "For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known." -1 Corinthians 13:12

I think that when we try to understand the reason for everything that happens, we are basically beating our heads against the wall.  We simply are incapable of seeing the big picture that God sees and, therefore, understanding all the why's of life on this planet.  Bad things happen.  Some caused by sin, man's poor choices, and all things are allowed by God - good and bad.  He IS the blessed Controller of all things.  If He exercised NO control, I shudder to think what this planet would be like.  The Bible tells us that God has a plan and He knows what He's doing.  It also tells us that one day sin will be destroyed forever and bad things will cease to happen.  Until then, there is a course that has to be run for reasons only God knows the intricacies of.  We can choose to enjoy our childhood, trusting in our good and loving Heavenly Father who works all things for our good, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." -Romans 8:28, or we can beat our prideful heads against the wall trying to be on God's level.  I think I will choose the former.  Focusing on His goodness and having faith the the Blessed Controller of all things knows what He's doing sounds much more productive and enjoyable.  I look forward to the day when I will "know fully" and choose to see this day as "This is the day which the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it." -Psalms 118:24.  I choose to relinquish control to The One who sees and knows all; trusting Him and rejoicing in His goodness.  It really does come down to a choice.  We have been given THAT right.  We get to choose.  What do YOU choose?

The Ugly Truth and The Path of Peace

"When things don't go as you like, accept the situation immediately.  Remember that I am sovereign over your circumstances, and humble yourself under My mighty hand.  Rejoice in what I am doing in your life, even though it is beyond your understanding." - Jesus Calling

"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor."
-1 Peter 5:6 (NLT)

There are many things in my life that I don't understand; the debilitating physical limitations that have plagued me for the past several years, the fact that I am still a stay-at-home mom with a kindergartener well into my 50's, the financial struggle that my husband and I are STILL in......the list goes on.  My LIFE has not gone as I like for many YEARS.  It has not just been a day here and there where some THING has not gone the way I wanted it to.  Every aspect of my life for the past seven years has not been going the way I wanted it to.  It has been an epidemic of "not going the way I like".  

The past seven years, I have run the gamut between steadfastly declaring my trust in God and coming within a breath of denouncing my faith.  I have been angry, sad, confused, and frustrated like never before in my life.  Rejoice in what He was doing?!!  I was barely speaking to Him at one point.  I knew truths about God and what was happening in my head, but it wasn't trickling down into my heart.  All I seemed to know was that He ripped away people and things that were very dear to me.  He picked me up off the path that I was happily skipping down and turned me in a completely different direction.  My response was similar to that of a two-year old having his favorite toy taken away.  Quite pathetic in retrospect, but I didn't see it that way then.  I saw that the loving Heavenly Father I had been following and trusting for many years, had hurt me.  Not only did he re-direct my path, taking me away from people I loved and happiness that had been hard to come by, but he plopped me down in one of the last places on earth I wanted to be.  I was NOT happy with Him.  The icing on top was the fact that all this happened while I was in the throes of menopause and heading toward an empty nest.  Fun, fun!!  NOT!  My little temper tantrum and the black cloud that accompanied it lasted six years!  How's that for childish and selfish?  Can you imagine?  Understand though, there were bright moments when my heart truly believed that God had my best interests at heart and everything would be okay.  Those bright moments usually lasted a day or two here and there.  It amazed me how fleeting and transient those bright moments were and how quickly I could dive back under the black cloud.  God was trying to teach me something and I was fighting Him almost every step of the way.  I wanted back what He had taken away.  I could not seem to humble myself under His mighty hand and remember that He was sovereign over my circumstances.  I tried, believe me, I told myself over and over again that His plans for me are good and He would work something good out of all this.  I repeated Bible verses like a Catholic doing penance, but my angry heart wasn't hearing it.  My heart was listening to the lies of the enemy; "God has forgotten you.", "You misunderstood when you thought you heard His calling on your life and He didn't really give you the gifts you thought He did.", "He brought you here to die.".  It was horrible.  Some of the darkest days of my life were when I believed that God was through with me.  I have never cried so much in my life as I did those first few years on my new path.  

Its hard to see ugly truths about yourself.  Spiritual rock-bottom is a dark and scary place.  Seeing the depth of my arrogance, selfishness, and overall lack of trust was gut-wrenching.  I THOUGHT I was trusting God and being a wonderful Christian, but I was wrong.  "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall." -1 Corinthians 10:12  I was thinking a little too highly of myself and I needed to take some heed.  I've learned a lot in the past six years and eight months.  I've learned that one lie that the enemy told me wasn't such a lie after all.  God DID bring me here to die - die to myself.  He brought me to the desert and a time of testing and crucifying of my flesh so that He could take me to the next level of my relationship with Him.  

There are still so many things I don't understand, still so much I need to learn about God and who He made me to be.  I am still uncertain about my future, and am still asking "What do you want me to do here?".  For right now, we're rebuilding trust.  I have learned that God is indeed sovereign over my circumstances and that I CAN trust Him truly with my every day AND my future, but these truths need deeper roots.  They're still trickling down to my heart.  I am amazed by my Heavenly Father's patience with me and yet, I have been just as patient with my own children and their fits, how much more so would God be?  There is still much too much pride, arrogance, and selfishness in me.  The difference now is that I am so much more aware of it.  This awareness allows me to finally humble myself under His mighty hand like I never have before because I realize how pathetic I really am and how amazing He really is.  I think I would be lying if I said I have successfully completed this trial and I am fully out the other side.  I still struggle now and then with a tinge of holding on to the past and not fully accepting this situation that did not go my way.  I am, however, almost completely out from under the black cloud.  My relationship with God is improving daily.  Every day I feel a little closer to Him and a little more trusting of Him.  A strange thing for someone who has been a devoted Christian for seventeen years.  Just like my marriage though, my relationship with God has had hills and valleys.  It is a constant process that needs constant attention.  My relationship with God needs as much care and attention as my relationship with my husband.  In both cases, there needs to be forgiveness and understanding.  I had to forgive God (as crazy as that sounds) for the hurt I perceived and come to really understand His sovereignty.  I had to understand that I will not always understand, but that God truly does have my best interests at heart and I simply need to trust Him - really trust Him.......with everything.  He knows what He's doing.  He really does and I can see a lot of good that has come from his re-direction of my life.  I am extremely grateful that He did not give in to my fit and let me have my way because I see now that it would not have been for the best.  I have learned to trust Him, no matter what the circumstances look like, and give it time.  Some things need time to heal and some things need time before they can be revealed.  His timing is also trustworthy.  That was another tough lesson to learn.  I'm learning, one day at at a time, to take His hand and just walk through that day.  No preconceived ideas, relinquishing my agenda to Him, trusting Him to lead the way.  It's not easy for us control-freak, prideful humans to relinquish control, but when I do it the result is a peaceful day no matter what happens.  I just have to stay connected to the one who is sovereign over all my circumstances and rejoice over all He is doing in my life whether I completely understand or not.  It's a choice to trust and it's the path of peace.  

To Cover or Not To Cover

I recently had a certain issue of obedience brought to my attention and it has consumed my thoughts ever since. The reference is to 1 Corinthians 11:10-17 which talks about a woman having her head covered when she prays or prophesies.

I've done a little research so far and it seems there is more than one school of thought. A lot of my confusion comes from the fact that I know not one single woman of God who practices covering her head when she prays. This would mean that, if we are to take these verses literally, I and every mentor, teacher, and sister-in-Christ I know are walking in disobedience. I find that hard to believe.

Many argue that the context of these verses is cultural. I could agree with that except for one little phrase; "because of the angels".  One reason women are to cover their heads is because of the angels. Angels are not a cultural "thing".  Has something changed with the angels between New Testament times and now that they don't need us to cover our heads?  Why do they need us to do that in the first place?  I don't really know for sure and I can't find where The Word tells us.  I have a hypothesis and it has to do with modesty and the angels' history with human women (Genesis 6:1). It's just a wild guess. I am not a theologian and have never been to seminary so my book knowledge is very limited. I only have The Holy Spirit. Even then, my flesh (in the form of my imagination) can get in the way.

The real issue here is that I do not want to walk in disobedience. We are responsible for what we know and I now know that for some reason having to do with the angels, and as a sign of submission, Paul has instructed women to cover their heads when praying or prophesying. Again, if it was just a cultural command, why are the angels involved?  In a practical sense, does this mean that I need to always have a shawl around my shoulders ready to be pressed into service at any moment since I talk to God off and on all day?  Do I only need to practice this in church, or just at home...or just in public in general?  How is it that I've been a Christian for 17-years and have never felt my prayers or my
relationship with God for that matter, hindered by the lack of head covering?  I have never had a pastor's wife practice this either. Questions, questions!

I believe a couple of things in regard to all this. One, we are under grace, not law. Our sins are forgiven and I believe that includes sins of ignorance. Two, God never gives a command without good reason. There is a perfectly good reason why this should be done and it is probably just as relevant today as it was then. Should the fact that it is not practical in today's society have any bearing on whether we obey it or not?  I tend to think not. Obedience is not cultural. It is a result of our love for God, regardless of the time or age we live in.

I still have more questions than answers regarding this issue and I am still seeking God regarding my responsibility here. For now, however, I would prefer to err on the side of obedience. I will do my best to cover my head when entering (praying) or speaking from (prophesying) the Throne Room of God whenever possible. I wouldn't be surprised if that's the reason I've been inheriting shawls and scarves over the past few years, when I never owned a one in the past. Much food for thought and I would welcome your insights.

Sacrifice or Comfort - God's Intention for Us

Something I've noticed recently that I was not so aware of before, is the desire for comfort among Christians.  Books are full of explanations of God's love, grace, and mercy.  I read constantly about how God wants to comfort and protect me.  About how He has a plan for my life and He wants to make my way as easy as possible.  All around me I watch my brothers and sisters in Christ give a hearty "Amen!" when a pastor in the pulpit preaches about suffering with Christ, then they go home to their easy chairs and T.V. remotes and enjoy their comfortable lives.  I know this because I have been guilty of the same.  The older I get, the more I want to be comfortable - both physically and emotionally.  As a Christian, however, is this what I am called to?  Is comfort what any of us are called to?  Is it even something God wants for us?

"Although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered." -Hebrews 5:8 
Christ Himself suffered, so how can we who follow Him expect any less?
"Therefore, since Christ has suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves also with the same purpose, because he who has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin," -1Peter 4:1 
As Christians, our purpose should be the same as Christ's.  If we are truly emulating Christ and being His ambassadors in this world, then we will be hated as He was hated and we will experience some suffering at some point.  It is unlikely that we will be crucified as He was, since that is no longer a common practice, but there are Christians all over the world who are being tortured and martyred for the sake of Christ.  "and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him." -Romans 8:17  Theirs is not a life of comfort.  Christ's life was not one of comfort.  I'm not saying that Jesus never experienced comfort in His lifetime or that we shouldn't, but it certainly was not His objective and it should not be ours.
We should never be afraid to step out of our comfort zones for God.  His calling surpasses any fleshly needs or desires.  The beautiful truth there is that when we drop it all to answer God's call, He will provide all that we need.  He comforts us when we need comforting.  "For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ." -2 Corinthians 1:5  
Our comfort in Christ, however, is not necessarily earthly comfort - creature comforts.  While I do believe that God provides for our physical needs when necessary and sometimes our physical wants just to bless us, I do not believe that our physical comfort in this world is His priority.  So, what type of comfort are we talking about?

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort," -2 Corinthians 1:3  The word "comfort" in this verse that tells us God is a God of comfort, is from the Greek "paraklesis" which means: "exhortation, admonition, encouragement". (1)  God is the God of all "encouragement".  When we are depressed He is there for us.  "But God, who comforts the depressed, comforted us by the coming of Titus;" -2 Corinthians 7:6.  When we are tired and disheartened, He revives us.  "This is my comfort in my affliction, That Your word has revived me." -Psalm 119:50.  He encourages us to continue fighting the good fight with the hope of our eternal salvation.  "Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal comfort and good hope by grace," -2 Thessalonians 2:16  

Following Christ is an adventure and adventures can be anything but comfortable.  They can be fraught with uncertainty and danger.  The difference in the Christ adventure is that He is our constant while so many circumstances are uncertain.  We are protected from eternal danger by His sacrifice on the cross.  We will face many dangers here on earth, and we all will eventually die in the physical sense, but our souls are held in Christ and no danger can befall us there.  For the earthly dangers, we are given the Holy Spirit by God to strengthen and encourage us.  We are never alone in anything we face, physically or spiritually.  That knowledge alone should give us the courage to step out of our comfort zones when we are called to do so.  We can all be brave hearts, ready and willing to boldly follow Christ wherever He leads regardless of the outcome.  After all, we know the outcome is victory in Jesus.









1. (Blue Letter Bible. "Dictionary and Word Search for paraklēsis (Strong's 3874)". Blue Letter Bible. 1996-2012. 26 Dec 2012.)  

Remember Who You Are

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." -Matthew 5:16
"Not only must you rejoice, but your joy must be made manifest.  Men must see and know your joy and, seeing it, know without any doubt that it springs from living with Me.  The hard, dull way of resignation is not My way." -God Calling devotional

After hearing the results of the presidential election, I felt physically sick.  I was angry and just beside myself, really, that's how upset I was.  I knew even before the results were in that God was in control and He would allow who He would allow to be our president.  My reaction, however, did not reflect that belief.  God allowed me my little temper tantrum....for a few minutes.  He then proceeded to remind me that His plan is in motion, not mine.  He impressed upon me that what I am to do now is to lift up my head and continue along the path that He set me on.  Then, this morning, He dropped the little bombshell you read above on me.  Not only am I not supposed to grumble and complain about the  state of this country or our leadership, but I am to rejoice.  "Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!" -Philippians 4:4  I have nothing to worry about or be afraid of.

I thought about that for awhile.  Rejoicing when my heart is heavy is asking a lot.  That's not my natural reaction, of course.  God is calling me to an eternity-minded response.  My heart doesn't need to be heavy.  The battle is already won and I am on the winning side.  The Creator of the universe, the orchestrator of all history, is my Heavenly Father who loves me completely and unconditionally.  If that can't make my heart sing, nothing will and I have a serious heart condition.  So, while the world grumbles and complains about where this country is headed, I and my Christian brothers and sisters can dance and sing because we know where WE are headed.  The big, eternal picture is so much bigger than one presidential election or even the fate of a single country. Those of us who study our Bibles know where it's all going to end up anyway.

God has a plan and if I want to be a part of what He's doing and not what the rest of the world is doing, then I need to spend my time drawing near to Him and following His direction.  I need to focus and not be distracted by the world because that's exactly where the enemy would have me.  I need to be thankful for who Christ is and who I am in Him, and I need to rejoice so that my light will shine in this dark world during these dark times.  God wants to use me and you to draw those who really do have a reason to be worried and afraid, to The One who can protect them and alleviate their fears.  That's who we Christians are; protected and fearless.  I, for one, need to start acting like it.

Father, forgive us our double-mindedness and our fleshly weakness to focus only on the circumstances.  Strengthen us, Lord, and raise us up to be the light in this dark world that you intend us to be.  Fill us with Your Holy Spirit and the joy of the Lord.  Send us where You would have us go and direct us to do what You would have us do.  And Father, Thy will be done in this country.  Give us ears to hear and hearts to obey, for Your glory.  In the mighty name of Jesus I ask, Amen.

The Perfect Resource

When you have questions or a problem, where do you go for help?  Is your first instinct to go to your friends, family, or even a neighbor?  I know mine is.  I don't want it to be.  I want my first instinct to be to go to my Heavenly Father.  "O' Lord, hear my plea for justice.  Listen to my cry for help.  Pay attention to my prayer, for it comes from honest lips." -Psalm 17:1

I read that verse this morning and thought about how I sometimes pray with fervor because I'm worried that God won't answer my prayer as quickly as I would like Him to - or as obviously.  God knows everything!  He knows me better than anyone, including myself.  Who better to take our questions to than the answer Himself?  I asked myself why I took my problems to my friends and family first.  The answer I came up with was, "because they answer me faster and it's not as difficult to hear them."

We are such a microwave society.  We want it all and we want it now, and we want it just the way we want it.  We are so spoiled!  I don't know how many times I've sat down and attempted to be still before God only to battle a million thoughts running through my head, and a need to be up and doing something.  Task oriented, microwave woman.  That's me!  If I would only be patient long enough, and quiet long enough to hear His answer, I would probably be a lot more successful in my life.  My Heavenly Father knows what all I need to do in a day.  He knows exactly how much time I need to accomplish each task, and He knows which tasks really need accomplishing.  I need to trust that He's not going to derail my day because I took the time to sit and listen to Him.  In fact, He will redeem my time.  I know that because He's done it faithfully in the past.  How soon I forget though, all He's done for me.  Sigh!  All to easily, I forget and fall back into my "chicken with her head cut off" patterns.  I'm just being honest here.

What if I practiced a little self-discipline and made myself take ALL my questions and problems to Him first and actually waited on His answer?  I wonder exactly how that would turn out?  Would I be spending all my time sitting around being still and quiet?  Hahaha!!  That's a funny picture to me.  I think I'm going to make it an experiment.  I'm going to write all my questions and problems down in a journal, and for the next week I'm going to take every last one of them to God and no one else (unless He tells me to seek counsel from someone in particular).  I'm going to ask for His help and do my best to sit still and listen, and when He tells me to get up and go about my business while I'm waiting, that's what I'll do.  I'm going to trust Him solely and completely.  Wow!  That actually sounds a little scary!  I'm going to do it though because I know that He is the perfect resource for ALL I need to know, so I'm going to put what I know into practice.  How often have I NOT done that?  That's an entry for another day.  I'll let you know how my week goes.

Blessings!
Brenda  :-)

Maintenance or Mess?

I just had to share this because the simplicity of it is just so profound!  A quote from the devotional "God Calling":  "It is as a race.  Nothing must daunt you.  Do not let a difficulty conquer you.  You must conquer it.  My strength will be there awaiting you.  Nothing is too small to be faced and overcome.  To push small difficulties aside is to be preparing big troubles."  

That last sentence struck me the hardest.  So often it's the big challenges that I really see needing to be conquered, when in reality, they probably started with something small that I ignored.  How awesome a thought is that?!  I mean, I'm sure there will always be big things to confront that were big to begin with, but how much easier would things be if we knocked out the little things when they first confront us instead of letting them grow?  See what I mean about profound simplicity?

 I don't know about you, but I am notorious for complicating things.  I have a dear brother-in-law who loves to tell me to stop thinking so much.  He says I over-analyze and complicate things all the time. What IS that?  Does it come from my seemingly inherent need for drama?  (I've been called a drama queen more than once in my lifetime and have given birth to several of them  :-/ )  Let's analyze this - if I let some small trial grow until it's more like David fighting Goliath, that's much more dramatic, isn't it?  More dramatic is more fun, right?  Well, not always if I were to be really honest.  Actually, I think as I get older drama becomes more tiring than fun.  If I really think about it, I HAVE been steering more toward simpler things these days.  So, maybe I WILL confront things more while they're still small.

Something else that crosses my mind; oftentimes when a small annoyance shows up I find myself putting off confronting it simply because I have bigger things to attend to.  Does that ever happen to you?  I put it on the back burner and add it to the list of things to get to "later".  "Later" could be later that same day or it could be a month into the future (more times than not it's at least a week or two "later").  By then it could have grown into a level 1 emergency!  Hmmmm.......I think there must be a solution here I just don't see it right this moment.

Let's analyze some more.  :-)  I know I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, and the Holy Spirit is my Helper who recalls things to my mind.  Maybe I could pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help me get to things sooner.  Maybe I could make myself a note of some kind or set an alarm in my smartphone and make it act like it really is smart!  That would take two seconds and probably save me a lot of time down the road - two seconds well spent.  If, however, I'm not in the middle of something really important like making sure my homemade syrup that I'm making for my homemade pumpkin pancakes doesn't boil over, then I could handle it right away.  By the way, making sure syrup doesn't boil over is very important.  You don't want to deal with the alternative - talk about a sticky situation!  Heehee!!

All kidding aside, I would really like to go through my day with more awareness of the things coming at me and an intention to deal with even the smallest of challenges right when they challenge me.  I think a lot of times as a mom I'm dealing with so many different things at once that sometimes I just duck or block without even really seeing what I just avoided (put on the back burner).  Does that make sense to anyone?  Something else I've noticed that seems to be diminishing with age is my multi-tasking skills (that sounds like a whole article in and of itself).

I think the bottom line might be focus.  Like a racer is focused on his race; his breathing, his pace, the finish line.  I need to be more focused on my race.  I need to see the things that come like hurdles on the race track and bound over them rather than letting them trip me up.  I have God's strength to help me with that so I might as well use it.  I would much rather work with God to maintain my pace and overcome obstacles than end up in a heaping mess just inches before the finish line.  How sad would that be?

Heavenly Father, strengthen me to run this race you have set before me with energy and focus (and maintaining my multi-tasking skills would be really great) so that my life honors and glorifies You.  I thank you for all the tools You have given me to do all that You have called me to do.  In the amazing name of Jesus, Amen!

A Transparent Testimony

I have been a devoted follower of Christ for seventeen years now.  I guess you could call me a spiritual teenager.  My spiritual upbringing occurred in a wonderful church where I had several beautiful, godly women as mentors.  Eleven years into my journey, God did something incredible that I am still processing.  He ripped me away from my wonderful church, and my beautiful mentors and friends, and dropped me in the middle of the desert.  Well, central Texas, to be exact, but it may as well have been the Mojave to me.  It's actually amazing to me how much insight He gave me beforehand, and yet how shocked I was when it all actually happened.  I knew God wanted to do a new thing in me, and He wanted to take me to the next level with Him.  I also knew that I would be following Him into the desert, and that there would be trials.  Knowing something in your head, however, is a far cry from the actual experience of it.  I really had no idea what I was in for.

The list of things that I have experienced in my six years of "exile" is extensive.  Things I never could have imagined and can't really begin to list here.  Partially because it would take a novel to fill it all and partially because a lot of it would just bore you.  I will say this though, every area of my life has been shaken and rearranged.  Everything I believed has been questioned.  The very essence of who I am as a person has been dissected and examined under a microscope.  Some of the trials have come directly from God and some have been a result of my response to what God was doing.  Needless to say, I didn't always respond positively.  What I want to share with you today is a sort of epiphany I had this morning about being who God made me to be.  A result of the microscopic exam, perhaps.

Let me provide a little insight first.  I spent a lot of my life being very insecure and intent on doing things "right".  I grew up under a very critical dad and was heavily influenced by a perfectionist grandmother.  So, when it came time to be a Christian I looked around for someone to model.  I guess out of habit, I looked for "perfection".  I looked to people who looked perfect on the outside.  Fortunately, most of them were also beautiful (I have come to learn that no one is perfect) on the inside.  My insecure little brain, however, associated the outer appearance with doing it "right".  I decided that being a good Christian meant dressing well, perfect hair and makeup, and perfectly manicured nails.  After all, that was how my grandma always presented herself and that was how I was taught to present myself as well, even before becoming a Christian.  It was a perfect fit.  Don't get me wrong, I did understand the gospel and actually submerged myself in Bible study.  I also thought being a Biblical scholar was the way to superior spirituality.  I needed to be the perfect package, remember.  My trip to the desert changed all of that.

In spite of my superficial perspective on Christianity the Lord managed to lay a strong foundation, through those beautiful mentors I mentioned, that I was able to rely on while being buffeted by the enemy in the desert.  I really can't begin to tell you how badly I was shaken by what God was doing, and that was the point.  Unfortunately, the enemy used all the questions and doubts that arose as a virtual playground.  I will be very transparent here and tell you that I have not grown like I could have these past six years.  I have doubted God.  I have disobeyed God.  I have been angry with God.  I was in a tailspin and couldn't seem to stop it!  All the weaknesses in myself that I thought God and I had worked through, resurfaced.  I cannot remember ever being more confused and frustrated than I have been since  being uprooted, and I don't think I have ever cried so much in my life.  I have always known that God was in control and I have always chosen to believe that He has a plan for my life.  I have had to remind myself so many times of all the truths I know about God because there was such a strong pull to stop believing.  Yes, stop believing.  There were times when I thought it must be so much easier to just stop reminding myself and do something to change my circumstances on my own.  God was just not working fast enough and He was not relieving my pain, confusion, and frustration.  I have reached the end of my rope several times in the past several years.  If I had a dime for every time I said, "I can't stand this anymore!", I would be buried in dimes.  Somehow, all of the inner turmoil magnified my need to do it "right".  Probably because everything seemed so "wrong" to me.  The ironic thing is, the more I tried to do it "right", the more I had to try to do it "right".  I could NEVER seem to do it right.  I couldn't do marriage right, motherhood, Christianity, myself......nothing.  The battle between spirit and flesh has never been more apparent to me than it has been these past few years.  My spirit knows that I can do nothing in and of myself and yet my flesh is determined to make everything "perfect".  I know that God's plan and timing are perfect, but my flesh wants to do it in her time and according to her plan.  The battle raged in every area of my life.  It has been..........tiring!  Then this morning, the epiphany.  Seven simple little words that came out of nowhere; "What if you're not doing it wrong?"  What?!

Could it be possible that God didn't create me with a cookie cutter?  Is it possible that there are more important things than having your house spotless and being perfectly coiffed?  Could it be, just maybe, that not making your bed every morning is not a sin?!  What?!  Maybe this whole thing with God - this Christianity - is really and truly about relationship and outer appearance has nothing to do with it, not even a little?  It shocks me to know how shallow I've been, how self-reliant while thinking I was relying on God.  A wonderful pastor friend of mine once used the term, "glory seeker" to actually describe himself.  That phrase struck a chord with me because I am guilty of the same.  I have always wanted to be important and well loved.  I have sought the approval of man more than the approval of God and thought that doing everything "right" was the way to obtain it.  Knowing that I was already important to and approved of by God was head knowledge.  My heart hadn't bought it yet.  I think my heart is just now starting to really believe it.  Being a Christian is not about looking the part.  It's about loving God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength regardless of what anything looks like.  It's about being sold out to the One who deserves all you have because He gave His all for you.

All those years I tried to fit myself into a mold that I thought was "right".  I was not being completely true to myself or to my Heavenly Father.  I wasn't trying to discover who He made ME to be and what HE wanted me to look like.  Don't get me wrong, I like my share of "cute", but I put way too much stock in it in the past.  So, with you as my witness, as of today I am breaking the mold.  I will no longer try to fit myself into someone else's shape.  I must let go of of pre-conceived ideas about everything and embark on a new journey with God - discovering what He has for me now and who He intended me to be all along.  "Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead", - Philippians 3:13  It is imperative that I keep moving forward and leave the past behind - every today as soon as it becomes yesterday.

Walking with God is an amazing journey....all of it.  The mountaintops, the valleys, the dusty roads, and the lush meadows.  It all goes together.  One cannot be appreciated without the other.  God never promised me a rose garden, but He did promise to always be with me and He has been.  The reason I could come to the end of my rope several times is because He kept giving me new rope - a lifeline - and here I still am.  More hopeful than I have probably ever been, and possessing a deeper understanding of who He is and what He's really all about.  We still have a lot of work to do, but a major hurdle has been  jumped with the destruction of the mold of "rightness".  Hallelujah!  Onward to further discovery!

Easy Joy

"In Thy presence is fulness of joy; at Thy right hand there are pleasures forevermore."
 -Psalm 16:11

I think I have finally learned something about the joy of the Lord.  I cannot MAKE it happen.  I do not enter into the fullness of His joy through effort.  For years I struggled to understand the whole concept of "The joy of the Lord is your strength" (Nehemiah 8:10) and what exactly that joy was supposed to look and feel like.  The keyword here being "struggled".

I am by nature, a melancholy personality; analytical, perfectionist, the glass is half empty, etc.  Joy and happiness don't always come easy to me partially because I try to wrap my brain around them rather than just experiencing them.  I need to understand WHY I should be happy, and I wait for something terrible to happen that will destroy that happiness.  Sad, I know.  I also know that I'm not alone in that.  There are a lot of people like me in that way.  I believe we've been conditioned by bad things happening in our childhood or early adulthood.  Just when things start looking up.....wham!  A tragedy or just plain hard times come to knock us down again.  Why bother with happiness or joy when it's going to be short lived anyway?  Kind of like bed-making.  Why expend all that energy when it's just going to be messed up again in a few hours?  Okay, maybe those things aren't really even on the same plane, but there's a little correlation, right?

The funny thing is, I have always wanted to be happy.  I have spent a good part of my life with happiness as my goal, and did everything I knew of to obtain it.  I have never wanted the dark cloud that so easily comes my way.  I battle it constantly and always have.  I would catch glimmers of optimism, joy, and happiness, but it was never enough.  I have and do want more.  I want the joy of the Lord to be my strength and I want to bubble over with optimism and hope.  I have several friends who are like that.  They make you smile just by being in the same room with you.  Their light is contagious. Unfortunately, I can't be with them 24/7 so when I leave their presence the light fades.  I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to be joy-filled and hopeful.  What kind of testimony is a black cloud?  No one wants any of that.  That was part of the head game I played with myself and that nasty devil loved to perpetuate it. The truth is, Christians are still human.  We will always have challenges and things to overcome on this planet.  No human being, Christian or not, is happy and joyful one-hundred percent of the time.  It's just not humanly possible.  Unless you live with a person, you're just not going to see all the down times.  Most people will put on their happy faces in public and only show you the good anyway.  We all want to look as though we have it all together and our lives are perfect.  Even if someone's life is really, really good - it's still not perfect.  I think I have finally convinced myself of that and have stopped comparing my life to others.

I'm not going to blow sunshine and tell you I've discovered a quick-fix and I am now one of those bubbly Christians I mentioned earlier, but I will tell you what I have discovered.  I need to stop struggling.  I need to stop trying to wrap my brain around everything God is and does (because it's not possible anyway) and simply "be" with Him.  That's where the joy is and the more I am with Him, the more His joy permeates my being.  For example, I have recently taken to memorizing Scripture again.  I pick a verse for the week and each day I fill a journal page with that verse, sometimes saying it out loud as I write it.  Guess what?  I am noticing a change in my attitude!  I am feeling more of His joy deep down inside.  If I keep going like this, I may one day be bubbling over like I've always dreamed of.  It's a process though.  That's not to say it can't happen overnight.  God can do anything.  For me, however, I've needed the lessons that the process has provided and I'm looking forward to more because I know I will need more.

One of the lessons I have learned is that there is a lot of joy in the little things.  In the middle of my day, remembering how much He loves me.  Listening to Christian music while driving in my car.  Noticing things like clouds, trees, flowers......His amazing creation that He created for us!  I can't look at a beautiful sunset and not smile in awe.  The joy is all around us as well as inside of us and the only effort necessary is to notice.  That's not much effort at all, and it's certainly not struggling.  How crazy is that?!  We humans tend to make things so much more difficult than they need to be.  I am terribly guilty of that.  What a waste of energy!  I think I may put a sign up on my bathroom mirror to remind me every day, "Keep it simple.  Joy is easy."  Amen!